Hi All,

Reaching out for some advice from those of you who may have experienced a similar situation. I hope that I'm posting this in the right place!

My wife and I have talked about it and she wants to become proficient with all of our firearms, which I support 100%. She's only shot a gun once, which was sporting clays at a local club, and is very nervous around firearms in general. We have two young children and she wants to be able to protect them, should the need arise, so I've walked her through all of our guns, how they work and basic safety. I signed her up for a class with an instructor who I trust, so she'll get some range time learning with a pro. They'll focus on her handgun skills, but I also purchased her a 20 gage home defense shotgun.

I'm doing everything I can think of to get her comfortable, but even just walking into the gun store is upsetting for her. I've tried to ease her in, but the lesson where she is in the range is going to be a big jump for her, and I anticipate her being even more upset.

Does anyone have advice? She is going to be shooting my Glock 45, but would it be better to start her out with a smaller caliber handgun to get her more comfortable?

Thanks all, in advance!

For what it's worth, introducing the 4 rules and firearm manipulation in a time and space that is free from live fire has helped my wife. There's no need to actually shoot a scary gun to review all the safety and operations. I find it reduces the anxiety.

Bring the comfort level (such that it is) up before any shooting occurs is the goal.

.22 is good for new shooters to learn the basics of gun safety, range etiquette, trigger discipline, sight pictures, trigger squeeze, etc. Outdoor ranges, supervised, on non-busy days are good. Don't have all of those "BOOMS' from nearby shooters, more of the "pop" or "crack" sounds. Also, she'll need some familiarization with the 20 ga. shotgun. That's best achieved outdoors.

I don't know how to address her uneasiness around guns in general. But having safe, pleasant experiences with smaller calibers is a good start. Punching holes in bullseye targets at a nice outdoor range with a .22 is a lot of fun.

I'm in the same situation with a new girlfriend/companion who has only shot once in her life and wants to become proficient and have us select a proper firearm when she has gained those skills. We started with several relaxed sessions reviewing the 4 safety rules and why those rules are redundant and in the order they are. Then proceeded to learning to load/unload pistols and revolvers and how to field strip and review the various components and their functions which I think helps a novice visualize and become more comfortable with handling firearms.

Then several relaxed sessions of dry fire on electronic targets with laser cartridges. which turned out to be fun and very much a confidence builder for my girl.

We advanced to shooting the gun selected for her by her friends and husband (hubby now deceased) which was a .40 S&W, M&P Shield which set her back to square one with being intimidated - the recoil of the .40 S&W is just too much for a novice. We then had a few more sessions in her basement with dry firing my Ruger SR22 with RDO until her confidence returned and her next range session was a lot of fun for both of us and she's hitting what she aims at and gaining confidence.


That's what we did/are doing and I can't stress the use of laser cartridges and dry fire enough to gain familiarity and confidence without the stress of live fire on a range.

VooDoo

I’m working on three hours of sleep so bear with me if I missed this in your post….maybe decouple a trip to a firing range from actually shooting? I taught a friend of mine how to shoot. We started w dry fire at home but when we got to the range, she kept flinching every time a gun went off. I didn’t anticipate how the random gunshots from others would affect her. Perhaps just being able to observe others actually shooting from up close will inure her a bit to that aspect. She can then practice dry fire elsewhere and will know in advance what the range sounds like.

Hell, I myself get a bit flinchy when I haven’t shot in a while.

featureless wrote: Mon Jan 20, 2025 1:02 pm For what it's worth, introducing the 4 rules and firearm manipulation in a time and space that is free from live fire has helped my wife. There's no need to actually shoot a scary gun to review all the safety and operations. I find it reduces the anxiety.

Bring the comfort level (such that it is) up before any shooting occurs is the goal.

The Four Rules

A gun is always loaded
Only point the gun at something that's OK to destroy
Keep the finger off the trigger until pointed at the target
Know the target and what's behind it

Every gun owner should memorize these so they can be recited in the produce aisle of your local natural foods co-op. (true story, bro)

CDF

Wow, y'all! This is some great advice. Thank you! I didn't think of any of this stuff!

Before her lesson next week, I'm going to work with her on the 4 rules and basic safety. We'll do some dry-fire exercises, and I think that y'all are 100% right, that will help her get comfortable holding a handgun and getting used to the trigger. There are two sides to the range we're going to, and I'm going to ask her instructor to have her lesson on the empty side. I think that will help with the boom factor. To KlownKannon's point, I get flinchy too after not being at the range in a while because it can get loud... not exactly calming!

Thanks again for all of the advice! I'll let you know how it goes! [fingers crossed]

See if you can find a women only class for her.

If your wife is experiencing flinch from recoil response, you may help alleviate that stress by getting her used to shooting a .22 semi-auto like the others have suggested. The mechanics of such a gun is essentially the same as your Glock 45 so getting used /land actually having fun and gaining confidence with a .22 will eventually translate to other larger (caliber) pistols.

But if she never develops any sense of enjoyment or growth through firearms then, meh… Just go for range time with the Glock and get acclimated to the mechanics in the odd chance that she actually needs to use one for home defense or whatever. Do it every 6 months. All skills are probably lost after a year of innaction.

I agree with others when she's ready to shoot a handgun, start with a 22 pistol. A 22lr semi auto with a 6 inch barrel I've found is best, to help them line up the target and learn to handle the recoil. And ear plugs and muffs together help lower the noise at ranges and protect their hearing.

Great advice, not much I can add. Except that given how bad the arthritis in my hands is, basically, every time I go to the range, it's mostly to shoot .22 or .22 long.

I always bring the .380, but rarely shoot more than 20 rounds, sometimes only 10. And I don't go to the range that often, so yeah, conditioning myself to the "Boom" factor is a big part of it. If it turns out that she's just way more comfortable with the .22, well, it's better than no gun at all.

Appreciate your post, Garth, inspires me to try again, see if I can get my wife out to the range. Maybe a side trip if we're on the road somewhere and there's an outdoor range along the way.