Do Guns Solve Problems?

1
[turns out I wrote this about seven or eight years ago; I'd forgotten]

Do guns solve problems?

It depends on the problem.

The problems I solve with guns usually involve smooth sheets of paper. Sometimes we see concentric printed designs, but my problem with paper is the lack of holes, its flatness--this bothers me. For this problem guns are very good solutions.

Other times I solve this problem with arrows.

There are advantages and disadvantages to the use of arrows over guns. The most significant difference is range. The farther away stands the taunting and sassy smooth piece of paper, the more difficult it is to hit with an arrow.

For example, out to about 30 yards I can punch a hole with an arrow in an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of smooth, haughty and arrogant paper every single time. But if I move that wretched paper out to 50 yards, the percentage drops off.

That's when it's good to have a hand gun--light and portable, available in many designer colors, these are ideal for making holey a stubborn and idiotic sheet of unblemished 40 pound bond.

However, hand guns have their limits with respect to range. Out beyond 50 yards it's good to have a rifle. Personally I've punctured smooth sheets from the office recycle bin at the 400 yard berm. Paper trembles at the mention of my name.

This is why the prudent paper puncher enjoys the use of many weapons against the scourge of smooth and sassy sheets. If your problem is unpunctured paper, then a gun is one really good solution.

Always be sure of your target and what's behind it: safely enjoy our sport.

[commentary on an ancient post: fuck 'em if they can't laugh]

CDFingers
Crazy cat peekin' through a lace bandana
like a one-eyed Cheshire, like a diamond-eyed Jack

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